Selena explains, “After I got out of my last treatment center, I knew what made me happy, and it was the connection.”
But, on her doctor’s orders, Selena’s planned charity visit to Kenya to see the schools she helped raise money to build was delayed by several years due to her kidney transplant in 2017. Once she was finally an apple to make the trip in 2019, she vowed to visit every three months
“The truth is, I’ve never felt good enough,” Selena admitted. “Even when I’m on stage in front of a crowd, I will always find the only person who doesn’t love me and believe in me, I want to believe in myself. The people I’ve met here in Kenya are so, I just want to feel like I deserve to be here with them.”
During her time at the Maasai Mara, Selena bonds with students, talking about love and ambition, and in a particularly passionate conversation with one woman, contemplates suicide.
After a stint in Kenya, Selena travels directly to London and Paris to promote her music, but she struggles to adjust to her life as a celebrity. “It just seems like a waste of time,” she said. “What should i do now?”
Selena later admitted that “a part of my heart is still in Kenya”, “I felt guilty for being there sometimes. I hate it, I feel like I went to the shoot and I felt it, but it’s so hard because I feel so selfish. Do I feel great? Yes, and do I feel like I I left a trail? Yes, but do I feel like I have done enough? No.”
“Talking to someone about mental health in Kenya, that’s beautiful,” she continued. “I don’t know if I feel like, ‘Oh, I did and I’m an amazing person. No, it’s just the beginning for me.